Thursday, April 01, 2010
Qing Ming
1-APR-2010:
This coming Sunday is Qing Ming, or what they call "The Tomb Sweeping" day. This day is normally observed around April 5th of the Gregorian calendar and is an opporunity for the celebrants to remember and honour their ancestors at grave sites. Despite having no holiday status in Malaysia, the Chinese take this festival seriously and normally observe the festival on a Sunday. Many, like us, would prefer to do it a week earlier to avoid the crowd and traffic jam.
On Sunday morning, Saimun and his parents left at 7+ in the morning to visit his grandfather's grave site, which I was not obligated to go because I had to take care of the two kids (children have their uses sometimes). I don't expect to participate in this family event until both my kids are at least 15 years old and are allowed to stay home on their own.
However, when they came home at around 10:30am, I left the kids with Saimun and went with my brother to my mother's grave site instead. According to my MIL, I wasn't supposed to go because I'm now married and do not belong to that family anymore. But I didn't care. To me, I was merely visiting my own mum and at the same time an opportunity for me to catch up with my uncle (mum's brother), aunt and cousins.
I sat in front of my mother's grave, looking at her radiant smile on the tombstone, and I felt the urge to go forward and flung my arms around her. I felt sorry that she couldn't see how well I am doing. That I have a son and a daughter now. I felt sorry that she hadn't met her own grandchildren. At least, I found comfort in knowing that she had met Saimun and knew that I would be well taken care of, before she had to go. I also wanted to tell her that she need not worry about my brother anymore as he is also well taken of. He hasn't turned into a 'samseng' or a drug addict, like a lot of people had feared he would. In fact, he is now a responsible man and a responsible father, and moving ahead in his career. I can't believe I'm calling my little brother a 'man'. :p
Anyway, despite the memories, we actually had a good time catching up and laughing. There we were - my brother, uncle, aunt, my cousins and myself - catching up on our most recent or not so recent events. They haven't met my kids yet even though Dom is already 4 years old. We moved to London shortly after he was born. My uncle is now in interior design and I didn't know it. My cousin is opening a cafe soon and his youngest brother has completed his SPM. He was only 4 or 5 when my mum died. It was almost like a picnic and I was almost disappointed when it came to an end and we had to part. I promise that I will participate in this family event every year, whether a married woman is allowed to visit her mother's grave or not.
