Monday, August 18, 2008
It's Just Me Ranting
18-AUG-2008:
My piu zheh Catty said today that she know now what she wants to be when she grows up (now that she has grown up) and it got me thinking about what exactly I want to do if I really do have a choice. I'm not particularly thrilled with what I do now and I definitely don't excel in what I do either? I could be doing something more, but why do I even think that I don't have a choice? I think the bigger issue is that I don't know what I want to do ... what my passion is. I've thought about being an artist - you know maybe an interior designer or something, but an elephant might be more creative than me. I've dreamt of running an online business but I'm too comfortable with my boring day job to even put any effort into it. I wished I could be a musician and play music for a living but I really sucked at my piano lessons and failed my exams twice. Really, there isn't anything that I'm talented at.
I envy people whose role are so well-defined. When you're a doctor, you know that your role is to diagnose illness and save lives. When you're an accountant, you know you need file the taxes or balance the accounts or maintain the ledgers. When you're a teacher, you know your role is to teach. But what exactly is your role if you're an IT professional. The IT world is wide beyond words and I've still not found my niche yet. I started off in Web development, and then moved on to networking and infrastructure. I then worked on billing and CRM systems, and then back to software and Web. And now, I'm dealing with set-top-boxes.
Basically, I had quite a hard time looking for a job because of this diversity. I got my first job because of my excellent academic results. My second job was through pulling strings with people I know - otherwise I don't think I even stood a chance. I have to admit I was quite good at pulling strings - since I even managed to bring my brother with me wherever I went. Heh! My third job (which is the current one) was through fabricating my CV. Well, all of what I said was true but I kinda made it sound like I specialized in that one thing that the recruiter was interested in. I imagine I will have a hard time looking for another job if I were to move back to KL.
Growing up, I prided myself for my very good academic results, but I guess that didn't get me very far. I wonder if I hadn't been pressured to focus all my attention towards academic excellence, would I excel in other areas? Would I have been a really good dancer? Or a scientist who invents stuffs? Or maybe I'm just not cut out to be outstanding.
On the other hand, Saimun passed all of his exams but he didn't exactly get straight A's. He didn't even know the words to the nursery rhymes that Dominic sings. He didn't read Enid Blyton. He hasn't heard of Punch & Judy. And yet, I don't doubt that he can find a job in any place he wants in the world, not to mention he's getting paid a lot more than me.
Oh ... and to quote something that his father once mentioned. When I was a kid, my parents fed me the most expensive milk powder with DHA, AA or whatever you name it but Saimun drank only Dumex. Haha! Come to think of it, I've never come across all those DHA/AA milk powder in the UK and I've never seen a single advertisement telling me that my kid will be more intelligent if he drinks this milk powder. Makes me wonder if all those commercials you see on Malaysian TV are actually scams.
I imagine it would be tough for both parents and kids to be studying in Malaysia or Singapore. You have to be one of the best, otherwise you'll be labelled as "stupid". I imagine kids will need to know how to spell apple, ambulance and spaghetti by the time they enter primary 1. I suppose some may say that it is "kiasu" behaviour but I think I'll be quite pressured as well if I live there, because it is expected by the society. I guess that's why my dad sent me to various tuition classes. Worse - I think he did it to "compete" with his friends and cousins. "Hey, my daughter got 5A's in the UPSR, how about your son?".
I hope I won't do that to my kids. No ... more like, I hope I DON'T HAVE TO do that to my kids.
