New Kid On The Blog

3-JUNE-2009:

Brace yourself for another lengthy story.

Anna is 13 years old and she has a sister (Kate) who is 16. When Kate was 2 (that was before Anna was even conceived), she was diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia - a blood cancer, and was expected to live no more than 3 years - and that is with aggresive treatment. She needed a donor but none of her family members' matched. Not her mum, dad or her elder brother Jesse.

Kate's parents went to a geneticist and they "engineered" a baby (Anna) that was a perfect match for Kate. They have never thought of having another child. They did this only to save Kate.

"Although I am nine months pregnant, although I had plenty of time to dream, I have not considered the specifics of this child. I have thought of this daughter only in terms of what she will be able to do for the daughter that I already have."

Anna's cord blood prolonged Kate's life for a while. And then she went into relapses after relapses where Anna had to donate her lymphocytes, granulocytes, bone marrow, and ultimately at the age of 16, Kate's kidneys failed and Anna was asked to donate one of hers. At this point, Anna went to a lawyer and filed for medical emancipation.

That is the general outline of the story but when you get into it, you see how the family breaks apart over the years because Mum is so fixated on Kate's shaky future that she loses sight of her other children. Jesse got involved with drugs, stealing, etc and her parents have totally given up on him. When I was reading it, I couldn't help but accuse Mum of what a terrible mother she was. She wouldn't stay with Anna just for a little while after she had donated her bone marrow and was in pain. Even after Anna had made it clear that she couldn't donate one of her kidneys, Mum was still insistent.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to, but I know that Kate is counting on you. And Daddy and me."

But then Mum explained herself through the trial and I have to admit she has her points. She's just a mother trying to save her child. Even though if I was her, I don't think I would have genetically designed a baby that would be a donor to my other child, but if I already have an existing child who is a match and a perfect donor, there would be no doubt that I would use him/her to save my sick child.

"If you were me, and the medical ethics committee handed you back a piece of paper with a suggested course of action that would save your son's life, would you question them further ... or would you just jump at the chance?"

"None of us is obligated to go into a fire and save someone else from a burning building. But that all changes if you're a parent and the person in that burning building is your child. In that case, not only would everyone understand if you ran in to get your child - they'd practically expect it of you. In my life though, that building was on fire, one of my children was in it - and the only opportunity to save her was to send in my other child, because she was the only one who knew the way. Did I know I was taking a risk? Of course. Did I realize it meant losing both of them? Yes. Did I understand that maybe it wasn't fair to ask her to do it? Absolutely. But I also knew that it was the only chance I had to keep both of them."

In the end though, the judge ruled in favour of Anna and granted her medical emancipation from her parents. However, as she was leaving the court that same day the result was announced, she was involved in a car accident and surprise ... she died. Her kidneys were donated to Kate and she lived for many, many years. At the end of the book, Kate was still healthy and it had been 8 years since her last relapse.

You see ... when you're meant to lose a child, you will lose a child. Mum had been anticipating the death of Kate all these years but she lost Anna instead. I didn't like this ending but as Jodi Picoult said it herself, this is the only ending that will work out for everyone. If Anna hadn't died, Kate would, and Anna would live the rest of her life feeling guilty, unable to face her parents. Although Anna didn't want to be a donor anymore, she loved Kate tremendously.

"That I want Kate alive, but also want to be myself, not part of her. That I want a chance to grow up, even if Kate can't. That Kate's death would be the worst thing that's ever happened to me ... and also the best."

I need to take a break after being emotionally drained by this sad, disturbing story.

"In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for a parent who loses a child."- Have you ever wondered about this?

# posted by Skye @ 8:34 am