Thursday, April 24, 2008
Relationships and Stuffs
24-APR-2008:
I was watching the whole re-run of Sex and the City - one must be wondering how on earth does a working mother with a 2-year-old who cooks every night and does not have a maid or any relatives to help out can have time to blog, maintain a website, indulge in computer games and watch so much TV. Haha! I'll explain this part later.
Anyway, back to the show. There was this episode where Carrie and Big was in bed one morning and she farted right in front of him. She was so embarrased that she left straight away and kept worrying about it. When for some reason, their frequency of love making decreased just a liiiiittle bit, she began to blame the fart for it. Watching that made me feel blessed that I have a relationship with my husband so comfortable that we can fart all we want in front of each other without feeling embarrased. In fact, we can co-exist in the same bathroom when the other is performing the gross act on the toilet bowl - quite comfortably. Sometimes, it's like a family event with the 3 of us happily cramped inside the bathroom. Gross, but I have to say it makes feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it. :-)
On the other hand, are we gradually jeopardizing our relationship by being too comfortable with each other? Taking each other for granted that we don't bother to impress each other anymore? There was this episode in Everybody Loves Raymond where Debra and Ray were getting ready to go out and they were late because Debra was still dressing up and fixing her hair. Ray got impatient and he shouted up the stairs, "You don't have to do your hair Debra. I already married you!" I think my husband is exactly that kind of man. He doesn't bother if I dress up as long as I look presentable. The truth is, most of the time I dressed up NOT to impress him but because I wanted to look good in front of everybody - mostly the girls. And another truth is, guys rarely notice you unless they are already interested in you. It is the girls that you often want to impress - or rather you don't want to look shabby while your girl friend looks fabulous and sexy next to you.
I've never liked watching Everybody Loves Raymond but recently I identify with the "issues" and find them so realistic and thought provoking. I think it must be because I'm approaching mid-life.
Anyway, I've been off work today (hence watching a lot of TV) because I have started bleeding yesterday. I saw the GP today and she couldn't find anything wrong with me, so she is sending me to the gynae and an ultrasound scan tomorrow. I am sooo freaking out at the moment that it makes me wanna cry. I don't know what the gynae is going to find out tomorrow. Maybe the baby is already dead. Maybe I'm on my way towards a miscarriage.
When I first missed my period, I silently wished with all my might that I wasn't pregnant. It wasn't something I wanted at that time. When I found out that I was pregnant, I had mixed feelings and wasn't exactly thrilled about it. Now, I want this baby and I can't believe how terrified I am of losing it. Well, to make myself feel better ... if it has to happen, then we'll go back to the original plan and aim to get pregnant again July onwards. Fingers crossed.
