New Kid On The Blog

25-JUNE-2008:

My son seems to think very highly of me. Just yesterday, we were on the bus and Dominic was eating corn flakes that I packed for him to snack. He finished it and wanted more but I told him I haven't got more. To my amusement, he looked at me with big round eyes and said "Mummy, do magic?". Hahaha! It took me a while to realize what he was saying as I totally didn't expect that.

When we got to the flat, he wanted to take the stairs instead of the lift. And he was cheeky enough to say "Mummy, carry chair" - by "chair", he meant his push chair! He must think that mummy is really strong.

I can't understand what's the attraction with stairs. Just last Saturday, he made me walk up 17 floors with him. That was really good exercise for me - and I was carrying his toy bike too. As we arrived at each floor, he read out the number on the door. Although he can only read from 0 to 9, he can already "count" up to twenty-something. The only problem is that he doesn't "count" in the right order. Six-three-seven-eight-nine-twelve-two-sixteen-twenty four! Never mind.

This morning, the drama started again. The moment he opened his eyes, he told me that he didn't want to go to school. This is going to take a while. I have prepped him the night before about how nice school is and how clever he'll be after going to school. We even had a conversation on what he did and ate in school yesterday. Dominic's speech is still not very developed but at least he could tell me that he had bread and tomatoes yesterday and that he didn't eat rice. He played with rice grains, sand, paint, cars and wheels (I wonder what kind of wheels). When I went to pick him up yesterday, he even said "School nice! Tomorrow come again". What happened to that excitement? It was as if his memory was erased after the night's sleep. I think he will continue crying for at least another week.

By the way, I have received my provisional driving license. The next step would be to pass the theory test. I can't believe I'm sitting for a driving test at the age of 31! Thanks Ellen, for "signing" my photograph!

# posted by Skye @ 7:32 am 0 comments

23-JUNE-2008:

Yesterday, Dominic officially turned 2 and a half years old, which is a significant milestone because certain nurseries charge a different fee after this age.

It's been a week since Dominic started at the new nursery and he's still crying every morning although I can see that he's gradually improving, for example on the first day, he cried while clinging to my legs when I left, on the 2nd day, he cried but held the "teacher's" hand and on the 3rd day, he stopped crying before I left the premise. Well, actually he had only attended for 3 days since he stays home on Thursdays, so there you have it.

He came back with quite some new words after those 3 days, for example, he told me that what we normally call "diapers" are actually "nappies" (for some reason the Brits call them nappies instead). On Saturday, we caught him saying "perfect" everytime he built a block using his Lego. Over the weekend, I also noticed that he now likes to use the phrase "wait for me!". I was told that he absolutely enjoyed the day at the nursery but he just cried every morning. To encourage him to like "school", last night, I narrated the typical day's morning to him. I said:

Me: Tomorrow morning, mummy is going to wake you up and Dominic is going to tell mummy to "chung nan-nan". After your nan-nan, mummy is going to brush your teeth and wash your buttocks. Then Dominic is going to put on your shirt, pants, socks and shoes.

Dominic: Catch the bus!

Me: Yes, we're going to catch the bus and mummy will bring you to school. There are so many things to do at school - you play with the rabbit, you drive the car and what else?

Dominic: Painting?

Me: Yes, what else?

Dominic: Hamish? (Hamish is the name of the rabbit)

By now, he was beginning to feel excited.

Dominic: Nice school!

Me: Yes, school is nice. Mummy will stay there with you for a while and then mummy will go to work.

Dominic: Do[mi]nic cry! (Do-nic is the short form he gave to his own name)

I couldn't help but laughed out loud. Crying in the morning has, to him, become a part of the morning's routine.

Apart from the crying, the experience had been a good one. He is eating lunch that the nursery provides - which means (I hope) that he's eating a more varied diet than just mummy's cooking. Despite waking up earlier in the morning, he's less cranky in the evening and sleeps better at night. He has also learnt to take off his pants and climb on the chair to pee on his own (we put a plastic Ikea chair next to the toilet bowl for him to stand on). Twice when I tried to help him, he told me to go away. After that, he managed to pull his pants back on too - provided that the pants are still around both his feet.

At 2 years and 6 months old, Dominic's most spoken word is "mummy" (without a doubt) and the runner-up is "don't want". I dun want brush teeth. I dun want take shower. I dun want go school. Dun want dinner. Dun want chicken. Dun want vege. Dun want go home. Dun want take nap. Dun want wear shirt. Sometimes, he even uses "dun want" for words that he can't understand. For example, I told him to get dressed and he insisted that he "dun want get dressed", although he really had no idea what "get dressed" meant, but he was okay with "putting on his shirt".

At 2 years and 6 months old, Dominic's height is still below 90cm (but getting close). He's able to switch on the lights now, but not tall enough to switch them off! He weighs 12.5kg.

That's it about Dominic, but here's a parenting tip that I would like to share with all mums and dads out there. Recently, I've found that Dominic is more co-operative after I've started to "talk more". Basically, I keep running a live commentary on what we're doing and we're going to do next. For example, when I'm preparing dinner, I would tell him what I'm cooking and that in 10 minutes time, dinner will be ready and we'll eat together. I would tell him that his Pooh bear show is ending soon and after that we're going to take a shower. I would tell him that he's getting out of the shower in a moment and after that he will drink his milk and brush his teeth. The technique has worked so well that we now find him reciting each step back to us - drink nan-nan, brush teeth, read book, go sleep. I find that by letting him know what he needs to do next makes him a much more co-operative child. :-)

# posted by Skye @ 8:12 am 0 comments

18-JUNE-2008:

Yesterday evening, it took me 15 minutes point-to-point to get to Dominic's nursery from my office. I left at 4:45pm because I weren't sure of the traffic. From the nursery, it took another 45 minutes to catch up on how Dominic was doing during the day, say goodbye and catch a bus home.

I was told that Dominic behaved well, ate all of his lunch, slept for 1 hour and has found a favourite spot next to the book shelf where he spent most of the day. He also wet his pants twice (which is so not typical of him). This morning, I've decided to put him on nappies again until he's more used to the new environment. As daddy put it, you'll be nervous to raise issues with your boss' too on your first day in a new job. From my experience, it will take Dominic a few months to get really comfortable with the people at the nursery.

Daddy has found us a new home just down the road from Dom's nursery. I haven't seen it yet but I trust daddy's judgement. I can't wait to move so that I don't have to wake Dominic up at 6:45am. So that daddy can send him to the nursery instead of me. So that I don't have to see his crying face the last thing before I go to work. So that we can finally be home by 5:05pm!

As predicted, Dominic cried his lungs out again this morning. He was happily playing with a train set until I finally said "Okay, mummy will pick you up at 5". His reaction was instantaneous. It was never so hard with daddy.

I also can't wait for the day when I can send Dominic to the nursery 5 days a week. At the moment, daddy and I are taking turns to stay home every Thursday. It will be a bit of an issue between the time we move to the new place and the time it takes for the broadband to get reconnected. Without Internet, we can't possibly work from home.

# posted by Skye @ 6:41 am 0 comments

16-JUNE-2008:

In conjunction with Father's Day last Sunday, and also because I owe it to my 'piu-zheh' who so untiringly typed out the recipe, I made Nigella's Maltesers chocolate cake, as promised. Dominic "helped". Mostly, he whisked the mixture, poured stuffs into the bowl and asked endless questions. He was actually involved throughout the whole process. After all, HE is the son and it was Father's Day.

My own comments -

1. The cake is quite spongy and chewy rather crumbly, if you know what I mean. I wonder what may have caused that? I think a good piece of cake should come off easily when you cut it with a fork and you see little bits falling off the piece. Do you get what I mean?
2. The icing is not fluffy enough. My definition of good icing would be that when you bite into the piece of cake, you'll get a "moustache". But this one - the icing tends to stick together and doesn't separate. Perhaps I should've added more water. What do you think?

Dominic is my best food-taster of all times. He took one bite and never returned again, so you know how it was. He only kept coming back for the Maltesers. Daddy thinks that it's presentable and edible, but he only had one piece. This one wasn't such a huge success compared to the previous Oreo cheescake. And the cheesecake was easier to make too! What did I do wrong?

# posted by Skye @ 7:40 am 0 comments

13-JUNE-2008:

We hear that all the time, don't we? Especially when one has a friend who always ends up having better luck than one. But does anyone actually moan "Life is so unfair" when good things happen to them?

Today, I reflected on those months when I lived with my in-laws while daddy was away in the UK. I think those were not exactly the best times of my life and I often moaned and complained about how domineering my MIL was in terms of household matters. But today, I have a thought. My in-laws are fabulous. They are so caring and helpful and I feel blessed to be part of the "Chim" family rather than some "Lee" family with a nagging MIL. Yes, my MIL nags too but she has never scolded me or use any form of harsh words towards me.

Today, I also found out that a friend has won $39,000 on the TV game show "Deal or No Deal". Now, I say life is unfair! Haha!

Just a few days ago I heard someone saying that "You're least appreciated by the people closest to you". To a certain extent I think that's very true. It's only when they are not close to you anymore that you start to appreciate them.

My aunt recently wrote in her blog that the daughter of a friend passed away in a skiing accident and she's a doctor in Melbourne. And 2 years ago, her brother passed away in a car accident during his 3rd year medicine in Melbourne U. I don't know what to say. Perhaps life is just unfair.

I have another thought today. I want to be pregnant straight away, I don't care whether it's a boy or a girl. I am so ready. God, won't you help me please? I'm so worried after the previous miscarriage. You know, if my aunt's friend up there has more than two children, it wouldn't be that bad, right? After all, she'll still have other surviving kids. I know it's a sick thought but it just crossed my mind. For some reason that I will not go into right now, I think I'm hormonally imbalanced.

# posted by Skye @ 8:42 am 0 comments

12-JUNE-2008:

I feel like I'm entering another phase of parenthood. When we were back in Malaysia a month ago, we noticed the first signs of changes in Dominic - difficult to control, wants his own way, ignores instructions, acts against you on purpose, talks back ... well you get the idea. My days of reading parenting books have long gone since I *think* I know all about taking care of a kid to toilet training to making nutritious meals to diagnosing sick symptoms but now, can you believe I have Super Nanny by Jo Frost lying in the bedroom? It's time to take some actions. Feeding time. It's sometimes impossible to get him to eat, much less getting him to feed himself. Funny enough, he was alright whenever daddy was around to eat with us. Bedtime. Why do I always have to stay in his room until he falls asleep? I now take a short nap every night from 9 - 9:30pm in his room! With that, my routine is required to change too.

• Cook dinner, eat with him.
• Bath time at 7:45pm as opposed to 8pm. And no bath tub, but shower instead. It now takes only 5 minutes to shower him.
• Milk and brush teeth immediately after bath, and get ready for bed.
• 8:30pm - I'll take my shower, brush my teeth and basically get ready for bed.
• 8:45pm - bedtime stories
• 9:00pm - Dominic goes to bed and mummy takes a nap on the carpet!
• 9:30pm (or later depending what time I wake up from the nap) - prepare ingredients for next day's dinner.

Next week is another challenge as I want to leave the house at 7:30 in the morning, which means Dominic has to wake up at 7am the latest, which also means he should go to bed earlier in order to get the same amount of sleep. What with taking longer to get home from the new nursery, the evening will get even shorter! This is one of those times I wish I have super powers.

I will post some useful tips from Super Nanny whenever I get round to it. :-)

# posted by Skye @ 10:54 am 0 comments

11-JUNE-2008:

It's funny how everyone's blog posts seem to make me tearful today. My eye make-up was almost gone by 9:30am. That set a precedence to my mood for the rest of the day, plus the fact that for some reason the TV on my work desk was tuned in to Sky News today and I saw bad news after bad news - father raped and kept daughter imprisoned, dolphins killed, credit crunch, falling house prices (however our rental is still as high as ever, if not higher!). It really does seem like a gloomy day ... but not literally.

On the contrary, the weather has been sunnier than ever and I can finally wear the same outfit both indoors and outdoors. In fact, people are wearing sandals to work.

Dominic is starting at the new nursery on Monday. Since the new nursery is not exactly 'next door', we'll have to leave the house a little early in the future and I'm not looking forward to that. Not because I'm not an early bird, because I am. I wake up at 6:30 in the morning for some yoga before starting the day and I always wake up the same time regardless of whether it's a week day or a weekend. It's because when you have a small kid, you almost always tend to run late - like him doing a poo at the exact moment you wanted to leave the house.

Dominic's bowel movement has been more frequent than usual since we returned from Malaysia. He does one in the morning and one in the evening ... and surprisingly another one the following morning ... and so on. Perhaps he's making up for the many days he failed to produce his output during his time in Malaysia. One night, he called for me at 3am and by the time I got there, he already poo-ed in his diaper and did some more in the toilet. Then on another morning, this happened:

Dominic: (While drinking his milk) Mummy, mm-mm ...

Me: Ha? Can you finish your nan-nan first?

Dominic: (Wailed impatiently) Mmmm ... mummy, mm-mm.

So I took him to the toilet. He did it and went back to finish his milk. As usual, after nan-nan, he would brush his teeth.

Dominic: (While brushing his teeth, he dropped the toothbrush and squat down)

Me: What's wrong? (Then I noticed a piece of shit on the nice Ikea red chair I bought for him!)

I cleaned it up and cleaned him up and as I flushed the toilet, he wailed again, "Mummy, more! More mm-mm, mummy! (almost crying)." He did a huge pile.

I think I've been lucky because toilet training has been so easy that it was effortless. Dominic has started requesting to "wee-wee" even when in his diaper (usually when we were out). A friend told me that I should still bring him to the toilet even though he's wearing diaper. That will take some initiative on my part - lazy, lazy mummy. I have a plan to take him out of diapers altogether when he starts at the new nursery. I wonder what will happen if he screams for the toilet in the bus. He's not the type who would let you make him go to the toilet if he doesn't want to.

Speaking of buses, I noticed that London buses these days announce the next station when it approaches. It's so much more convenient now as I used to lean close to the window to read the name of bus stop when I travel to unfamiliar places.

# posted by Skye @ 8:51 am 0 comments

10-JUNE-2008:

These photos were taken on the night before we flew back to London from KL. This is a bit out-dated but I guess better late than never.

This is the kids' way of saying "I'll miss you".

This is Dominic trying to kiss Wing Sern goodbye but Wing Sern didn't bend down to receive the kiss. Dominic was actually standing on tip toes!

This is Dominic trying to kiss Joe goodbye. Again, too short to reach.

Till today, Dominic sometimes mentions "Joe Joe" and "Wing Sern" out of the blue, especially when he sees other kids.

# posted by Skye @ 10:19 am 0 comments

6-JUNE-2008:

This is the story about the search for Dominic's new nursery. When there's no hope of finding one near our place by mid June, I resorted to looking at others along the Tube line, on my way to work. When I became more and more desperate, I started looking at those along the Tube line, on the way to daddy's office, as well as those on the bus route. Finally, I had a shortlist of 5 options.

Option 1
Daddy managed to find a Malaysian aunty who would like to work for us. We interviewed her. She was fine, 50+ and experienced. She wanted £180 per week, with accomodation and food. We told her we can't provide her accomodation and she asked for £210 per week, without accomodation. The next day, she called up and offered us £150, with accomodation. Still, free accomodation is more attractive than cash. After all, living in London is reaaally expensive. She even suggested sleeping in the living room. But no, we don't want an extra person living with us. Besides, she's illegal. She came to the UK 3 years ago without a visa.

Option 2
I found World of Children situated right next to the Northfields Tube station which is not far from my office, and there would be no problem for me to drop Dominic there on the way to work. I was rather skeptical when told that the weekly fees is only £140, but I agreed to take a look anyway. It was larger than I had imagined and the condition was not that bad. The only problem I had was it looked more like a childminder's place than a nursery. The TV was blasting away when I walked in and the children were left to themselves while the carers were busy doing something else such as answering phone calls and showing me around. I decided to reserve it as a backup.

Option 3
Option 3 was Kids Unlimited at Notting Hill. The weekly fees is £360.50. I HAD TO take a look. The place was really impressive with PIN-controlled access to the premise, sophisticated reception counter with a corporate back drop and wooden floor throughout. There were about 6 rooms for children of different ages starting from 3 months old. Nursery meals are cooked daily with only organic ingredients. There was a huge outside area (so huge it could possibly fit an olypmic size swimming pool) for kids to play in. All these were very nice but that was it. The activities and nursery education were just normal and no more different from the other nurseries. If I send Dominic there, it would mean I have to fork out £1500 a month. Is it worth it? The Ofsted report was "satisfactory" only. World of Children above was also "satisfactory".

Option 4
On the same day, I visited a 3rd nursery. I took a day leave to make all these visits. This one is called Cybertots, at Acton Town. It was small but buzzing with activities. One group of children were making things out of clay - not Play Doh clay or plasticine but the real deal like in "Ghost". Another group was making cup cakes. Yet another group was mixing flour and eggs to make a cake. They make something every other day or so which they eat themselves. A few of them were painting. These were very small groups - about 2-3 kids around a small table. There was a science section, literature, role play, music and writing section that changes theme every week. It was very well equiped with plenty of toys, including a computer. I liked it very much although it wasn't very nicely decorated nor has wooden floors. Their Ofsted report was "good". The only problem was that they can only take in Dominic on any day except Thursdays. Thursdays are fully booked. The fees were £175 per week, or £40 per day.

Option 5
The last nursery that I visited for the day was Happy Child at Ealing Common. It was normal, sufficient and satisfatory. The kids were having tea when I got there so I didn't get to see much on what they do during the day, but I assumed it's the same for any nurseries. This one is £185 per week and there is vacancy for all days. It is also only 5 minutes walk from the Tube station.

The Verdict
We chose Cybertots. I've already paid a registration fee. We'll think about what to do on Thursdays later. Maybe I can work from home and daddy can take turns too. Maybe somebody will leave the nursery. It's important what Dominic gets out of his days at nursery. After all, he spends almost 9 hours a day at nursery.

Now ... let's hope we find a home near this nursery.

# posted by Skye @ 11:29 am 0 comments

2-JUNE-2008:

I am hoping very much that Dominic is having a happy day at the nursery today. For the past 4 days, he had not wanted to go to the nursery. In the morning, his face fell instantly and he put on a pouty face when we mentioned school, and he kept saying "Mummy, dun want school". For 4 days, he cried everytime daddy dropped him off at the nursery, and every evening when I stepped into the nursery to pick him up, I heard his cries before I even saw his face. Although the caregiver assured me that he was fine throughout the day and had not been crying all day, I was concerned that Dominic wasn't having a good time there. The most important thing is that he is happy. I don't quite understand why he suddenly dislikes it so much, while he was perfectly fine before.

Today, Dominic didn't cry when daddy dropped him off. On one hand, I'm glad that there's at least some improvement. On the other, I'm anticipating the cycle to repeat when (and if) we place him in a new nursery.

At times, Dominic does things that make my heart melt. Just two days ago, he suddenly grabbed my hair on both sides of my head and pulled my face towards his, and then he gave me a few smooches on the face and mouth. And then, yesterday when daddy was doing the dishes, he suddenly yelled "daddy!", ran over to daddy, hugged his legs and (mind the phrase) kissed his butt. When he's good, he's such an angel. If not ...

Dominic is easily "triggered" if he's in a "bad mood". I'm not sure what causes the bad mood but it's most probably tiredness. When he's in that bad mood, he tends to make all sorts of requests (or should I say demands?) - "Mummy, orange juice". "Mummy, dun want chicken". "Mummy, take pillow, take blanket". "Mummy, dun want this diaper. Mummy, Pooh bear diaper". "Mummy, dun want take off shoes. Mummy, go outside". He will keep on making demands - when I give him this, he'll ask for that. If I don't give it to him, he starts crying and screaming. While crying, he'll still continue asking for this and that. He'll keep on crying until finally he makes a "reasonable" request, for example asking for a handkerchief to wipe his tears, and then when I do so, he stops crying. After that, he'll be fine. He just needs to let it out.

Dominic at 2 years and 5 months old is repeating more and more of the phrases we say to him, and with that, I realized that he uses many of the phrases and words incorrectly. "Mummy is here". What he really meant was (I think), "Mummy, come here". When another kid tries to take the toy that he's playing, he said "No, share!". I'm not sure what he thinks "share" means but obviously he wasn't going to share his toy with the other kid. Daddy advised that instead of teaching him to share we should teach him to take turns. And that's what happened. At the playground, I said "Dominic, wait for your turn", and he waited for his turn - very good. Then when it was his turn and there was another kid behind him, he said Mummy, wait turn", and he let the other kid go first!

Dominic at 2 years and 5 months old runs away when I ask him to pick up his toys. It was my fault, really. I don't ask him to put away his toys anymore because it was (I felt) too tiring for me. Most of the times, the toys are just scattered all over his bedroom floor when he goes to bed and will remain there until I pick them up. When he wants that certain piece of Lego, he'll make mummy search high and low for it. He never asks daddy to look for it because he knows that daddy will just ignore him.

Dominic at 2 years and 5 months old weighs about 12kg and still likes to be carried. One day:

Dominic: "Mummy, pao"

Me: "You're a big boy now and you're too heavy. Mummy cannot pao you anymore."

Dominic: (Looking up at me with big, round pitiful eyes) "Small pao?"

How could I resist that? From then onwards, "small pao" means a big hug while I'm on my knees and he wraps his legs around my waist. Or it can also mean a brief pao where I carry him up onto the kitchen counter.

# posted by Skye @ 10:21 am 0 comments