New Kid On The Blog

29-JUNE-2009:

Is it a boy or a girl? What do you think? I've given you side and full frontal views. :-)

# posted by Skye @ 5:31 pm 1 comments

28-JUNE-2009:

Inspired by Irene's post, we (Dom and I) made chocolate blackberry cupcakes on Saturday and here's the result. For the recipe, click here.

Dom had been bugging me to bake some cakes for many weeks now, so he totally enjoyed himself and totally made a mess too. I felt like I spent the entire day in the kitchen. First, it was breakfast. Although it was only milk and toast but still somebody had to wash up afterwards. Then, we made burger for lunch in the afternoon. After lunch, we baked the cupcakes and after that, more washing up. Finally, I had to cook dinner. Oh ... and I also cooked double-boiled chicken essence soup for myself.

Anyway, here are our cupcakes.

As mentioned in Irene's post, the recipe makes 12 cupcakes but I used muffin-sized cases, therefore I doubled the cake batter and made 12 large cupcakes instead. Dominic ate 2 immediately after they were freshly made and ate another one after dinner (he said it was delicious). I ate one in the afternoon and one in the evening, and daddy ate one. I gave 3 each to my 2 neighbours and that was it - all finished in one day. I'm glad I made large ones.

Here's Dom enjoying his cake.

# posted by Skye @ 5:11 pm 0 comments

27-JUNE-2009:

Is your child staying dry throughout the night? If so, I may need some advice here, to be honest. Last night was the first night we intentionally put Dominic to bed nappy free - previously we had accidentally done so a few times because of degrading brains. We bought Pampers disposable bed mat and told him that tonight he was to get up from bed if he wanted to 'wee-wee'. He said yes and was very cooperative. He also said "I'll cry".

He went to bed at 9pm as usual and at 11pm, daddy woke him up for a pee before he went to bed (I was already fast asleep). I had intended to wake him up at 2am again for another pee but I overslept. When I checked in on him at 3:30am, he was already all wet, and he didn't even complain. He just slept like a log until I woke him. Hmm ... that's the thing. If he can't even wake himself up when he's wet, how can we expect him to wake up when he wants to go?

Anyway, I took him to the toilet but as predicted there was not a single drop of pee because he had already done it on the bed. I had wanted to put a potty in his room but daddy said he should go to the toilet instead. Dominic has this cordless night lamp from Ikea that he's had since he was 1 year+ when he moved into his own room, and he can bring the lamp with him when he goes to the toilet. However, I expect him to wake me up anyway ... if he ever wakes me up.

So I changed him and got him back into bed - took only about 5 mins. At least he went back to sleep on his own after everytime he was awaken. Meanwhile I am the one who can't sleep, that's why I'm here. I've had this problem for many weeks now. I'll wake up in the middle of the night and have difficulty falling back asleep.

I saw the haematologist yesterday morning. My appointment was at 10:45am but we arrived early at 10:15am, and to my pleasant surprise I was seen immediately. There were two of them. Everytime I see a specialist (haematologist, obstetrician and paediatrician for Dom), I was seen by two of them - one a senior consultant and another assistant.

They asked some questions, did some assessment and discussed among themselves briefly in 3-letter codes and told me that at this stage it is too early to give me any treatment because I won't be giving birth for another 17 weeks or so. Therefore, I will be monitored instead. My blood was taken - 6 test tubes altogether - and an appointment was made for 4 weeks later. Meanwhile, my rashes have all disappeared now and the only symptom I have is gum bleeding. The doctor also checked my baby and it was fine. I didn't have an ultrasound, so no, I don't know if it's a boy or girl yet. We listened to the baby's heartbeat through a doppler though and I love the sound - a rythmic 'wow-wow-wow-wow'.

Anyway, back to toilet training - many people adviced to let the child be until I get a few dry nappies in the morning. For Dominic, I think that's not going to happen anytime soon - maybe not until he's 5 or 6. He wakes up every morning with a full nappy and sometimes it even over flows and wets the bed. There's no way he's going to wake up with a dry nappy. We'll see what happens on the 2nd night.

4:30am - dawn is breaking and the birds are chirping, but I'm going back to sleep.

# posted by Skye @ 11:00 pm 0 comments

25-JUNE-2009:

Last Sunday was Father's Day, as you might already know. As usual, there was a celebration at Dom's nursery but it was held on the Friday before Father's Day. When I first saw the leaflet I thought it sounded really fun. There was a bbq, games, activities, etc and it went on from 3pm to 6pm. At first, daddy said he couldn't go because he had to work, so I asked the nursery if I could attend it instead, but they said it was only for daddies and "special person" (which I guess refers to the man who lives with mum but who's not the dad - pretty common here I think). However, on Friday morning daddy decided to just skive off work and joined the party! After all work is never as important as spending time with your kid.

Sigh ... I really wished I could have been there. I was at work but left the office at 4pm, got home at 4:30pm but was reluctant to drop by the nursery because as they put it I wasn't a daddy nor a special person. So I spent half an hour trying to get daddy on his cellphone but he never picked up. As predicted, he didn't bring the camera and didn't take any photos for me. :-(

I finally went over just when the party was about to finish. There were only 4 dads present. I guess the rest were all at work. A hand-made banner in the garden read "Happy Special Person's Day". Funny when it was Mother's Day, they didn't say "Happy Special Person's Day" too, which I think implies that some kids live with their mums and their mums' partners who are not their dads, but not the other way round.

We didn't do anything special on Sunday but had a nice dinner at a Chinese restaurant.

# posted by Skye @ 10:37 am 0 comments

23-JUNE-2009:

Last Wednesday was my first attempt at making Hainanese Chicken Rice (since I was working at home and had plenty of time). It looked complicated but it was really quite simple, although there were lots to do because there was the chicken and the rice and the soup and the chilli sauce as well. The most difficult part about the whole process, in my opinion, was cutting up the chicken after it was cooked. I often see chicken rice sellers chopping up chickens with no effort at all - chop, chop, chop. But it was really difficult! It's not easy to get a clean cut of the bones with just one swing and it's difficult to aim the knife at the exact spot. And then the skin falls apart and sometimes the meat falls apart as well (but I think this is probably because my knife wasn't sharp enough).

Anyway, I thought it was delicious. Almost like the real deal. Saimun said it was like the real deal (yay!), but I told him mine should taste better because I used a whole corn-fed free range chicken (not cheap, okay?). We ate the chicken legs, wings and the back (because no one likes chicken breast). The next day, we ate the leftover chicken legs, wings and back, accompanied with a stir fry vege. On the 3rd day, I made a salad using the chicken breast meat. So in total, we took 3 days to finish the whole chicken. :-D

Click here for the recipe

# posted by Skye @ 6:05 am 3 comments

22-JUNE-2009:

I had to do a blood test last Wednesday. Our local health centre runs a pathology clinic every Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 8:30am to 11:50am. Patients are seen on a first come first serve basis and only 30 patients will be seen in a day. The receptionist at the surgery adviced me to go early because according to her, they're often booked out and have to turn patients away. I have no problems with early. When I was pregnant with Dom in M'sia, I got to the hospital at 8:15am for my monthly checkup. The doctor only started seeing patients at 9am (at the earliest) but I always got there very early to get a number because (1) There was no such thing as an appointment (actually, there was but the appointment was only for 'morning' or 'afternoon' and the purpose of the appointment was so that the hospital could retrieve my medical records from some vault), and (2) The first time I arrived after 9am I had to wait for 3 hours (also mostly because the doctor had to go off for some emergency operation). If you ask me now, I think it's a stupid, stupid system. Or perhaps it's necessary because Malaysians are never known for being punctual.

So this time, I thought no problems. The health centre is only 5 mins walk from my place. I'll get there early ... even before it opens. I'll be the first one there and I'll be done and be home by 8:45am. When it comes to 'kiasu-ism' no one can beat the Malaysians (except the Singaporeans, of course).

That morning in question, I took my time. I didn't want to get there too early and wait in the cold. I got there at 8:21am and was very surprised to find a queue already at the door. I was number 9 that morning and I finished at 9:10am. Still, I didn't mind a bit as long as I was the first 30.

The next morning, the doctor called me on my cellphone with my blood test results. I think that was so nice because back in Malaysia, I only found out about the results during my next visit which was typically 4 weeks later. The result shows that I have thrombocytopaenia (i.e. very low platelet count), which is nothing to be particularly concerned about because I had the same condition when I was pregnant with Dom and was expecting it to happen again. Only this time the count is much lower that it had ever been previously. In fact, the reason I had the blood test was because I noticed rashes all over my legs and some on my arms, which I later found out was internal bleeding underneath the skin. This didn't happen the last time. I will be seeing a haematologist on Friday. What happens, I imagine, is that I'll be put on steroids (tablets) and I can't have an epidural, which is what happened the last time.

On the topic of epidural, I'm actually glad that I can't have it because I can never quite make up my mind about it. I'm not against it but I also don't fancy having something stuck into my spine and I'm afraid of side effects. On the other hand, if I don't take it, I might feel that I've not done justice to myself if I have to endure hours and hours of painful labour when I can actually avoid the pain.

I also did a little bit of research on the Internet and slightly modified my diet, namely:
(1) Cutting out dairy products - which means I'm now drinking only soya milk and eating my breakfast cereals with soya milk. No cheese, no butter. Does anyone know if yogurt is considered a dairy product?

(2) Cutting down sugar intake, i.e. no fruit juices for me.

(3) Lots of vegetables and less meat - I just had a healthy salad for lunch today, and I had salad for lunch for the past 2 days.

I think the diet helps because the rashes on my arms are completely gone and the ones on my legs are fading. With the help of God, everything will be fine.

# posted by Skye @ 8:29 am 0 comments

17-JUNE-2009:

Friday, 12-June-2009 - Saimun had been 'on the bench' for a week now and the past few days he had been planning a trip to the Lake District. He claimed to be 'very busy' even though he didn't need to go into the office - I think he meant going to the gym, checking out the library and reading newspapers in the coffee shop. Nevertheless, I have to admit that he did a pretty good job planning our trip.

I had to come home in the afternoon because of a GP appointment, which suited me just right so that I had time to pack and cook an early dinner. We had planned to drive up that evening itself. Saimun had booked a hotel so that we can spend the night halfway and continue the journey the next morning. The entire journey supposedly takes about 5 hours by road. We left at about 7:30pm and arrived at the hotel at 10:30pm. On the way, we made quite a number of stops for toilet breaks as we were traveling with a 3-year-old.

Saturday, 13-June-2009 - We woke in the morning, had breakfast and continued our journey. When you're traveling in a car with a toddler, be sure to drink lots of water. The endless questions made my mouth dry and exhausted. Every truck we passed, he asked what was in that truck and "I don't know" wasn't accepted for an answer. Surprisingly, once we were trailing behind small mini tanker truck, he asked if there was milk in it. I looked and there was the word "MOO" written on the tank. That was it. Nothing else. I reckon it did carry milk but how did he know that? He said he has seen it before. Apart from that, every bridge we passed, he asked if it was a foot bridge or a road bridge.

Finally, at about 11am, we arrived at this place called Windermere. We went to the train station first because we were supposed to meet up with some friends (3 friends to be exact) who would be taking a train up. The train arrived at 12pm and we made some 'high level plans', and then we went off on our own. Our friends (who don't have kids) wanted to do some sightseeing and hiking whereas we were more insterested in activities that are suitable for Dominic. And so we went off to the Lake District Visitor Centre.

If I'm not mistaken, Saimun mentioned that the Lake District Visitor Centre is a National Park. I remember thinking what a small National Park it was because I vaguely remember that our Taman Negara was much larger than that. On the other hand, it could be large, just that we didn't venture to those areas. There were buggies operating the area (for the older people), so I supposed the area must be large.

There was a children's playground and we spent some time there, then we headed off to the shore of Lake Windermere. Lake Windermere is humungous. It takes about 40 mins to drive from the top of the lake to the bottom (following the shore, that is). Here, we could only see part of the lake.

In the afternoon, we met up with Sor Fee, Gary and Sor Fee's brother for tea. A 'proper English high tea'. I've never had a proper English tea before but I have certainly eaten scones and drank tea. :-D In Malaysia, 'high tea' would mean lots of delicious cooked food and plenty of beautifully decorated cakes and dessert. It would also mean eat-all-you-can. I didn't have any expectations whatsoever but nevertheless we didn't eat lunch since the high tea was at 3pm. We also didn't expect to eat any dinner that night. What happened was there were coffee, tea, scones and cakes ... as predicted. There were also some sandwiches and that was it. We ordered 5 sets since there were 5 of us (adults). In actual fact, we could have just taken 3 sets. I can't imagine how anyone could have eaten so much sugar-laden cakes in one afternoon. Anyway, to cut the story short, we were stuffed but not satisfied. That evening, we took away good old fried rice from a Chinese restaurant.

The photo below shows our hotel room. The single bed was Dominic's and daddy told him that he could watch the stars while going to sleep that night. Unfortunately, by the time he was snoring, the sky wasn't dark yet and the next morning when he woke up the sun was already shining on his forehead. He remembered what his daddy had said and he complained about it.

Sunday, 14-June-2009 - Saimun wanted to go to this place called Tarn Hows (I kept hearing 'Town House' and had no idea what he was talking about). After breakfast and a little stroll by the lake, we drove off looking for Tarn Hows. It took us forever to find it because the sat nav didn't register the place. Anyway, I think it was worth it because it was really beautiful. There was a 2.5km hike path but of course I was in no condition for lengthy walks.

After lunch, we hired a rowing boat since Dominic was really excited about it. It only occurred to me that I have not actually rowed a boat before when I attempted it. It was good fun but was rather pissed that Dominic was charged even though he's only 3!

Later that afternoon, we went in search for this waterfall which required driving through a mountain. It was my favourite drive because the mountains were spectacular. Saimun said it looked like a scene from 'Braveheart' (but I've never seen Braveheart). Anyway, I've never seen anything like it before. Meanwhile, Dominic slept all the way.

From the car park, it was a 1/2 mile hike up hill to the waterfall, and then another 1/2 mile hike down hill back to the car. The hike was quite fun but the waterfall was disappointing.

Finally, we met up for dinner with Sor Fee, Gary and Peter. Chinese food, of course. It was our last evening there and tomorrow we would have a long drive home.

Tuesday, 16-June-2009 - Dominic said he wanted to go on a holiday again.

More photos at: http://sukye.multiply.com/photos/album/136/Lake_District

# posted by Skye @ 10:46 am 0 comments

11-JUNE-2009:

Ever since one of my uncles discovered Gmail, he has been sending me forwarded emails - mostly jokes, funny videos, sometimes some disgusting photos (without warning - I hate that). Recently, he sent this joke which I find really funny, and also because I'm bored out of my mind, so please enjoy. :-)

Subject: Why British think 80% of Malaysian coming to UK to study law?

UK Immigration Officer: Purpose of visit? Visitor: I'm here to study law, sir. Officer: You know, you must have a lot of lawyers in Malaysia. Visitor: Why do you say that? Officer: Well, i've been here for a good twenty years, and I'd say 80% of Malaysians I see here say they're here to read law. Visitor: Oh, really? That's really something i never knew. Hard to believe in fact. Officer: Just you watch, then. You just stand here until the next Malaysian comes along, and I'll bet he's here to read law. *Visitor waits for 5 mins, Ah Chong from Malaysia comes to immigration counter* Officer: Mr. Ah Chong, purpose of visit? Ah Chong: Study lorr...

# posted by Skye @ 9:41 am 0 comments

10-JUNE-2009:

A while ago when someone recommended me Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic series, I picked up 'Shopaholic & Baby' from the library, which is the 5th and last book in the series, because that was the only one I could find in the library. It was a good book and very entertaining, but it didn't go much into the 'shopaholic' bit of the story. Last week, I finally got hold of the 1st book, i.e. 'The Secret Dreamworld of a Shopaholic', and I find it realistic and enlightening, apart from being hilarious and extremely fun.

At one point, my dad owed more than RM40,000 to his credit card. I'm actually very ashamed to tell you this and I could never understand how he did it. Apart from that, when he reached the eligible age, he took out all of his EPF money (which should be around 100k) and he spent it all AND STILL didn't manage to pay off his credit card debt. At this point, I didn't want to know anything anymore about his financial situation. I couldn't understand how anybody can be so careless with money, but after reading this book, I now do, although my dad is not a shopaholic ... he just ... I don't know where he spent his money.

The leading character in the book is Rebecca Bloomwood who works as a financial journalist, i.e. writing articles teaching people how to manage and invest their money. She earns �21,000 a year, which is the average income for a fresh graduate in London (I think). She hates her job and has no idea what she's writing (she attends press conference for new financial product launches, such as a new unit trust, a new investment scheme, etc and she writes her articles by copying from the press pack), and her favourite past time of all is shopping! In fact, she can't help buying stuffs. �90 for a pair of contact lense is essential, she would say. You can't expect anyone to walk around in a blur. Note: Normally, a pair of contact lense will only cost about �20 if I'm not mistaken. She would buy something on sale even though she doesn't really like it because she says, it's actually "saving money". She would buy 3 bottles of moisturizers instead of just 1 (although she doesn't need any) just because there is "double points for every moisturizer purchased". It's investment, she says, because eventually she will need to buy moisturizers anyway. Do all these sound familiar to you?

There was one scene that really gripped me. It was a bad day for Rebecca and she feel a little bit down. So what does she do when feels down? She shops, of course. But what would she buy? There isn't really anything she needs. I know, she says, I'll get a lipstick and off she goes. But wait a minute, Clarins is having a promotion - buy two skincare products and get a beauty bag FREE! And what's even more fabulous is that included in the beauty bag is a lipstick! Didn't she want to buy a lipstick in the 1st place? Hahaha ... so she bought two skincare products that she doesn't really need and got a free lipstick, which she doesn't even like the color of. Let me tell you that this pomotion (i.e. buy 2 skincare and get a beauty bag free) is very common here. Everyone does it all the time - Clinique, Estee Lauder, etc. I see it all the time in the newspapers.

Rebecca's debts are mounting and the banks are after her. So she decides to 'Cut Back'. First, she buys a self-help book on cutting back her spending - investment. From the book, she learns that instead of buying coffee, she can make it at home and bring it to the office in a flask - good idea. And she sets out to buy a really nice posh flask - investment, a coffee blender - investment and a nice bag of coffee beans. She also learns that instead of ordering take-out curries (which she usually does with her flat mate), she can cook her own curry - it only costs �5 a meal for 4 persons, says the book. But first, she needs to buy a pan - investment, an apron - investment, an electric grinder to grind spice - investment and all the various spices - coriander seeds, fennel seeds, cumin seeds, etc, etc. Actually, this part was hilarious. After all her "one-time investments", she decides that 'Cutting Back' is not her answer and she should try 'Making More Money'.

Meanwhile, her debts are mounting and she gets more and more depressed. And when that happens, she goes shopping and buys more stuffs because retail therapy is her answer to everything. I realize that people like her really do exist. People with multiple credit cards and owing tonnes to all of them. People who dress in Armanis and look really posh but are living on overdrafts. I used to hang out with this girl friend who earned about half of my salary but boy, I always felt poor when I was with her. I'm not saying she lived in debts but I guess she just didn't save much. Anyway, the year I got pregnant with Dom, she got a new job and has ever since been a high-flying career woman. Never mind that she didn't save, because she could make more money.

Finally, after I've finished the book, the most profound conclusion I got is that 'Cutting Back' never works. The only solution is to 'Make More Money' - whichever way you do it.

# posted by Skye @ 8:16 am 1 comments

4-JUNE-2009:

It was a Thursday and Dominic's nursery had organized a trip to a mobile farm which was set up in another branch of the nursery. Parents were welcome to come along. The children would walk to the Tube station, take a train (2 stops away), take a short walk to the bus stop, take a bus and then another short walk to the destination. This was the first time Dom had gone on a school trip via public transport. I overheard that there was one parent who didn't give permission to her child to travel by public transport and I don't know what they did to that child. I was concerned about safety too since the children would need walk along busy streets, cross the road and so on ... which is why I went along.

I sent Dominic to the nursery at 8:45am, came home, marinated the pork that I was going to cook that night, went to the supermarket to pack my lunch (because I didn't want to eat the children's food and also because I wasn't sure if there would be enough food for me as well) and went back to the nursery at 9:45am. We were supposed to leave at 10am. I kept myself out of Dom's sight while the teachers prepared the children. First, attendance was taken and then there was a prep talk on how they must behave themselves, how they must stop and look before crossing the road, how they must wait for the other passengers to get off the train first before getting on it, how they mustn't play at the bus stop, etc, etc. After that, all the children took a pee. The children were assigned to an adult - 1 teacher to 2 children and those whose mums were around were assigned to their mums (if mum lost her child, it would be her own fault. Heh!)

And so we walked, in a queue, to the train station. When we reached the destination train station, another attendance was taken to ensure that nobody was missing. No one was missing, so off we marched to the bus stop. It was havoc on the bus. The adults were chatting and the children were screaming 'Wheels on the bus' at the top of their lungs. It took forever for everyone to get on the bus and even longer than forever for everyone to get off it, since we all sat on the top deck of the double decker bus.

When we finally got to the farm, I was even more excited that Dom because I hadn't expected to see baby animals! The little piglets were so tiny that you could actually pick them up in your arms. And the billy goats were the size of a rooster (a big rooster that is). It was so nice to see the children stroking, holding and playing with the animals. Unfortunately, Dom wasn't that enthusiastic because he was a little bit afraid. He wouldn't hold a rabbit in his arms (because according to him, they scratch) and he wouldn't let a tiny chick perch on his arm. Nevertheless, he enjoyed watching and stroking.

At around 12pm, the children had a picnic lunch. I had packed myself a sandwich and a banana. As for the children, they were served sandwiches and pizza. Dominic had half a sandwich and then he filled himself up with cookies, tit bits and ice-cream.

After lunch, the children gathered round to sing a few songs. By then, most of them were very tired and one girl actually fell asleep while sitting on the floor. One or two of them had started throwing tantrums. Fortunately, Dom behaved well, except that he wouldn't let me out of his sight. We made our way back at around 1:30pm. By the time I dropped Dom off at his nursery, it was almost 2:30pm and I was extremely sleepy. I came straight home and took a nap and picked Dom up from the nursery at 5:30pm as usual.

Photo below shows the delegates at the Tube station, waiting for some of the parents to load up their travel cards.

Here, we were marching towards our destination. The children had stickers on their backs in case they get lost.

They found something here ...

They thought they found eggs!

# posted by Skye @ 12:10 pm 1 comments

2-JUNE-2009:

9:15am - I log in to the camera and Dominic is having breakfast. Cereal.

9:30am - He's playing with the computer.

9:50am - He has left the computer table. He's now cutting up fruits. I think I see a pear ... and something yellow (not bananas, they're round), but there are bananas too as well as grapes and oranges. He and two other children cut the fruits up and put them in plates.

10:15am - They're done cutting the fruits. Now it's time to eat them.

10:20am - I can see him but I'm not sure what he's doing. The teacher is demonstrating something, he's watching. The thing about these webcams is that I hope there's audio as well.

10:50am - No sign of him. (I found out in the evening that he was doing a painting at the back)

12:00pm - The tables are laid for lunch but no one is around. Could they be in the garden? Or perhaps they're washing up for lunch.

12:15pm - They are having lunch but I can't see Dom.

12:40pm - The whole morning I've been trying to spot my son in his green shirt, I now find him in a blue one. He must have been painting or gardening earlier on. They're still having lunch.

12:55pm - It's reading time. Everyone has got a book.

1:15pm - Reading time is over. I suppose Dom is now brushing his teeth and washing up.

1:30pm - Dominic is taking his afternoon nap. I wish I can reach into the monitor and give him a squeeze.

2:45pm - Dominic is awake now but no one is around. They are spending a lot of time outdoors today - probably because the weather is so good these days. Very rare.

4:00pm - They're all gathered in front of the teacher. Not sure what they're doing - listening to a story, singing a song or playing a game?

4:30pm - It's tea time!

4:45pm - I'm logging off now. Time to pick up Dom and go home.

# posted by Skye @ 1:27 pm 2 comments

3-JUNE-2009:

Brace yourself for another lengthy story.

Anna is 13 years old and she has a sister (Kate) who is 16. When Kate was 2 (that was before Anna was even conceived), she was diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia - a blood cancer, and was expected to live no more than 3 years - and that is with aggresive treatment. She needed a donor but none of her family members' matched. Not her mum, dad or her elder brother Jesse.

Kate's parents went to a geneticist and they "engineered" a baby (Anna) that was a perfect match for Kate. They have never thought of having another child. They did this only to save Kate.

"Although I am nine months pregnant, although I had plenty of time to dream, I have not considered the specifics of this child. I have thought of this daughter only in terms of what she will be able to do for the daughter that I already have."

Anna's cord blood prolonged Kate's life for a while. And then she went into relapses after relapses where Anna had to donate her lymphocytes, granulocytes, bone marrow, and ultimately at the age of 16, Kate's kidneys failed and Anna was asked to donate one of hers. At this point, Anna went to a lawyer and filed for medical emancipation.

That is the general outline of the story but when you get into it, you see how the family breaks apart over the years because Mum is so fixated on Kate's shaky future that she loses sight of her other children. Jesse got involved with drugs, stealing, etc and her parents have totally given up on him. When I was reading it, I couldn't help but accuse Mum of what a terrible mother she was. She wouldn't stay with Anna just for a little while after she had donated her bone marrow and was in pain. Even after Anna had made it clear that she couldn't donate one of her kidneys, Mum was still insistent.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to, but I know that Kate is counting on you. And Daddy and me."

But then Mum explained herself through the trial and I have to admit she has her points. She's just a mother trying to save her child. Even though if I was her, I don't think I would have genetically designed a baby that would be a donor to my other child, but if I already have an existing child who is a match and a perfect donor, there would be no doubt that I would use him/her to save my sick child.

"If you were me, and the medical ethics committee handed you back a piece of paper with a suggested course of action that would save your son's life, would you question them further ... or would you just jump at the chance?"

"None of us is obligated to go into a fire and save someone else from a burning building. But that all changes if you're a parent and the person in that burning building is your child. In that case, not only would everyone understand if you ran in to get your child - they'd practically expect it of you. In my life though, that building was on fire, one of my children was in it - and the only opportunity to save her was to send in my other child, because she was the only one who knew the way. Did I know I was taking a risk? Of course. Did I realize it meant losing both of them? Yes. Did I understand that maybe it wasn't fair to ask her to do it? Absolutely. But I also knew that it was the only chance I had to keep both of them."

In the end though, the judge ruled in favour of Anna and granted her medical emancipation from her parents. However, as she was leaving the court that same day the result was announced, she was involved in a car accident and surprise ... she died. Her kidneys were donated to Kate and she lived for many, many years. At the end of the book, Kate was still healthy and it had been 8 years since her last relapse.

You see ... when you're meant to lose a child, you will lose a child. Mum had been anticipating the death of Kate all these years but she lost Anna instead. I didn't like this ending but as Jodi Picoult said it herself, this is the only ending that will work out for everyone. If Anna hadn't died, Kate would, and Anna would live the rest of her life feeling guilty, unable to face her parents. Although Anna didn't want to be a donor anymore, she loved Kate tremendously.

"That I want Kate alive, but also want to be myself, not part of her. That I want a chance to grow up, even if Kate can't. That Kate's death would be the worst thing that's ever happened to me ... and also the best."

I need to take a break after being emotionally drained by this sad, disturbing story.

"In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for a parent who loses a child."- Have you ever wondered about this?

# posted by Skye @ 8:34 am 1 comments

1-JUNE-2009:

On Sunday yesterday, a neighbour invited us over for a bbq. I've never really spoken to this neighbour (let's call him S). We just said 'hi' in passing when we see each other occassionally. He's a white British, middle aged, probably around 45 or something. I had assumed that he had kids, especially shortly after we moved in we received an invitation (through our mailbox) to his daughter's birthday party. At the time, we wondered if his daughter was a small kid or a teenager. We never found out because we didn't go to the party. I've seen an African woman coming back to the house - young, around 20-something - and I had assumed that perhaps she was renting a room there. As it turned out, S is married to an African woman and she has a daughter from her previous marriage. Note: The 20-something is not his wife, but his step-daughter.

There were other people there as well - our neighbour upstairs and his girlfriend who came from New Zealand, another neighbour (French woman) who lives down the street and another African friend of S who lives nearby. The French woman was at least 55 years old, I think. After a few glasses of wine, she started calling me 'darling' and stroking my back up and down. Haha! Anyway, I think she was just being nice. She took down our names, address and birth dates so that she can send us birthday cakes, she said. She has the same name as Dominic, although I think hers might be spelled differently. She was the first one to spot my baby bump.

One thing I noticed is that the men can really drink. I only had water and sparkling juice. Saimun had ONE can of beer and he made that last from 2:30pm to 7pm. Impressive, heh? I think someone mentioned that he had never seen one can of beer last so long. :p He is now drinking beer at home in the evening because he said he needs to "practise".

Because of our diversed backgrounds, there were lots to talk about. They wanted to know what food we eat in Malaysia, what languages we speak, what is the religion of the people there and how much English we speak. I still don't like it when people automatically assume that we are Malays when we say we "come from Malaysia". When I met up with my midwife for the first time, she asked where I'm from. "Malaysia", I said thinking she was just making casual conversation. She consulted a list and she said, "That would make you ... is it Asian?". If you're familiar with filling up forms in the UK, you will definitely know that although you're from South East Asia, you're NOT an Asian because you're Chinese. Asians refer to Indians, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Indonesians, etc. "Oh no, I'm Chinese", I said, "I was just born in Malaysia", and the midwife put a tick under the "Oriental" category.

# posted by Skye @ 12:17 pm 0 comments

27-MAY-2009:

In my dream, I had important news or information. What it was, I can't remember, but the one person that I wanted to tell it to was girl friend, SH, and I wanted to talk to her in private. She lives in the US, so that means a long distance call. I was back at my brother's place (I used to live there when mum was still alive). I desperately wanted to be left alone so that I could make the phone call, but some people won't leave me alone - I think they were my brother and sister, but I'm not sure. I tried to lock the door to my room but it didn't work. I shouted at them to get lost. I never did make that call because there was always something holding me back - someone interrupting, some distraction or other. It was frustrating because the thing that I wanted was unreacheable.

28-MAY-2009:

This time it was about a cockroach. Before I continue, I think you should know that I'm terrified of this dirty, disgusting insect. I haven't seen one in a long time because there seem to be none in London. Anyway, in the dream I was at a relative's house - I don't know whose. It didn't look familiar but it felt familiar. It was an old place. Sort of dirty. So naturally, there would be cockroaches. We were in the bedroom - Dominic, Saimun and I - when someone exclaimed that there were cockroaches in the kitchen. "Kill them and keep them away from me", I said. After that, things became fuzzy and the next thing I saw was Dominic in the bathroom holding a transparent plastic container (the type that you use to collect your urine sample), and there was a cockroach in it. Give it to me, I said. I was going to get rid of it but he held on tight and said he would like to play with it for "5 minutes". A moment later, he flung the container into the air and when it fell, the cap came loose. The cockroach was however still inside the container and I hurried to seal the container. Before I could reach it, it ran out of the container and disappeared. I felt a tinge of desperation ... and agony even ... not knowing where it had gone and thinking that it can come back anytime and scare me out of my skin.

Should I be bothered that all of my dreams are less than happy? Well, not all actually. I had pleasant dreams too, but the unpleasant ones tend to be more vivid. Like I said before, happiness is an acquired taste and once you get used to it, you hardly notice it anymore and expect things to be pleasant, but despair hits you hard everytime, each time more painful than the last, no matter how many times you've been hit.

# posted by Skye @ 11:09 am 0 comments